Puget sound hash Trash
June 20,2002
HARE: MIDGET
MOLESTER RUN 571
FRENCH HOTDOG RUN ##### something.
OR…
as us wankers who showed up for this debacle of a summer solstice French
Hotdog hash run prefer to call it; TITS
OUT FOR
THE BOYS!
TITS OUT FOR THE BOYS. !!!
What
if you had laid a run, and nobody showed up?
This seemed to be the general expression I saw on Midget Molester’s face. Arms crossed leaning against the Jeep. Thumper,
Gallopin, and myself were
following Fucking Crazy, magot, and
his bitch , up the long and winding road to a clear-cut. It’s 6:40. Nobody is
around except for Midget. WE wonder where the other hashers had parked their cars. Or
what had Midget done with them?
“FIVE MORE MINUTES.. AND I WAS LEAVING BACK TO CUMBERLAND!”
We apparently had NOT missed the pack. THERE WAS NO PACK. We were it.
Then up comes Three timing former NFP “MIKE”, (hope I got that right. Last
trash I called him Bill or Tom.) SO MIKE brings ANOTHER NFP; his boss Larry.
Larry shows up in mountain boots so God only knows what Mike told him about
hashing. Other than you get to drink a lot of piss. So we circle up. Midget
gives flour talk. Seems like the little fellow outdid himself by laying TWO
HASH RUNS. A long and a short run. And the long and the short of it all…. Was
that they were BOTH fucked-up!
After anointing NFP “Larry” to the PShhh with a shoe dousing of piss,
we were off. magot, Thumper, Myself, and
magot’s bitch, took off on the
Long. Fucking Crazy, Gallopin, Mike
and Larry, go Short. The long run heads out across clear-cut while the short
went down a gravel road. Thumper finds trail out of the stump bustin ankle turning clear cut
to a trail in the forest. What remains, that is. We head down some trails and
finally hit a check. We hear water falls, so I go down and over the falls as Thumper
checks above in the woods. He calls
On ON. I CAN’T believe the wee-one had not put trail where I was. It was so
perfect! So I catch up to magot and Thumper, as we return
to the exciting land of stump- bustin ankle turning clear-cutting hash trail. It
arrows across the road. We hit a
check. We all want to go out to the right. But trail takes us down the trail.
Way way down and into more woods and a Back check. So, all the way back to
check. I look out to the road and
see Where’s. He has insider info
that we were at the end of the run. GREAT! So we head down the road to
see Dim Sum.
Back to the start and beer. More had arrived after the start. Primarily Big
Black Mail. On his pocket rocket. I guess the short went up the road. After
grabbing a beer, Thumper, Dim Sum, and
Myself, ran back in the woods trail
and went back to the falls. Nice fire pit already installed. Dim
Sum did the rest of the long run and we all returned to the run start to
drink piss and circle up. NFP
“Larry” was very, very amused ,
or very, very scared. He never stopped laughing except for his down -down.
Beautiful night. Per- fect place
for an outdoor piss-up. But we were heading to Cumberland Wa. to the former
Eager Beaver Tavern and Taco Mekka of greater south King Co. And it was TACO
THURSDAY. And my reoccurring nightmares of bicycling through South Dakota with
700,000 motorcycles in motion could not escape my mind. They even had a parking
director. I counted several hundred bikes. They had 700 show up the week before.
Midget had
the grill going and the rest of us were just gaping at all the tit and ass
covering the grounds. Where was Groper?
Dim Sum was in his element
wearing his ‘sports utility kelt” The hotdogs were superb. The piss ran out
early but what the hell, per recent tradition, Midget
molester picks up the tab. The single wankers had already been roving the
grounds to see what kind of tarts Taco Thursday’s brought out here in
CumBerland. Apparently having a bike is a good thing at a place like this. Big
Black Mail *and your name is a pain in the ass to spell), was using his
charm to sway this babe with powder blue cut off shorts,
half way up her ass.
We gathered around a fire pit,
Thumper jumped the fence and secured a load of wood, And WE set it a blaze.
I don’t know what we sang first. Doesn’t matter. We had a fair crowd of
bikers and biker babes on the fringe. I
saw a, for once, willing subject for a multi-verse chorus of ALHOUTTE . Fucking
Crazy got Ms. Cut-offs half way up her ass, to stand on a chair and let the
good times roll. And did they roll.
Magot had saddled up to this fairly
tall woman with beast out to mars, and every time Crazy got to the “Swinging TiT’s”, this woman would that magot
was charming would shot her breasts with glee! Man, what a
song fest. Sorry yet Groper? What a
change from our recent experiences with doing this song in sports bars up North.
These people really like the Puget Sound Hash. THEY REALLY LIKE US!!!!
BBM had fingered about every
available woman there. Fucking Crazy was still relishing the end of the song when Ms
Swinging Tits grabbed FC and began to
bury his head into her swinging tits. FC’s
ears were all about I could see, the rest of his head was buried! What a way
to go. I saw a few others go offer “their heads” for proper burial. Damn!
Where was the camera?
The crowd had thinned a bit and by chance Thumper
is recognized by some former high school buddy and partner in crime from before Thumper had facial hair. Thumper
immediately recognized the guy as several fingers were missing from when he
piloted his dirt bike down the rail road tracks in Renton at 90mph and hit some
turbulence, or a phone pole. Either way he was in a body cast for six months.
Survived a true nomination for the Darwinian Award considering he was blind
drunk at the time. But when else would you ride a dirt bike on rail road
tracks?? This guy had some interesting news for all of us tongue- hanging lip
drooling wankers who could not keep their eyes off the woman flashing her tits
like it was Flash Friday. SO ERECT!. Ok, my first time seeing silocone. The bad
news was that SHE had once been a HE! NOW
Groper’s REALLY pissed! But this
little genetic irritation didn’t stop the continued groping by about a dozen
guys. OH WHAT A NIGHT??? 10:45pm and still a glow in the sky as we regretfully
departed Taco Thursday night in CumBerland WA. It will go down in the annals of
pshhh history. Note to Midget Molester, next
time, Fuck the run. Take us straight to the tavern!
ONONONONONONON