Puget sound hash
TrasH
June 7,2002 HARES: ASS-MA & FAMILY JEWELS RUN 570
I, of
anyone, am in favor of an unemployed wank securing a job. But in Ass-Ma’s case, his recent employment at Microsoft and his move
from his “water-snare” to Redmond, has forced many of us to endure the
dreaded 405 afternoon backup to get to the run start. Not to mention but I will,
the “now” lack of a HOOTERS within drooling distance. But HEY! SOME people
have to make some sacrifices to secure work. Not that I would know of such
matters.
The run was titled THERE AND BACK. There, was Ass-Ma’s new abode where my sidekick and driving partner Thumper
informed me was the location of one of the most trendiest apartment complexes
back in the 70’s. Well, we PSHHHers ARE a trendy group for sure. That, and the
fact that the sun was shining, brought out the usual suspects as well as a NFP.
This was advertised as a $5:00 run sooner than Groper screwing up a punch
line, Hash Cash was asking for $7:00. This was a clever ploy by the hares
to capture the typical cheap-bastard-hounds who would typically drive from all
parts of the state for a cheap lay. Say…. Where was ABO
anyway??????
The hare and I say HARE singular as I don’t recall seeing Family
Jewel’s anywhere but I’ll have to start taking notes as I don’t seem
to remember much except for the fact that as the hare was finishing up the run
directions, and we were running a bit late, up comes the Frenchman in his
boxers. I mean Boxer. Our RA Puss Sucker,
led us in a chant of SENEGAL ! SENEGAL !! SENEGAL!!!
SENEGAL!!! SENEGAL!!!! in honor of the former French colony beating the
shit out of France in the World Cup. Dim
Sum waved his cheeky French flag in response. Better luck in 04!!!
The considerate hare indicated that to assist the hounds in avoiding
pavement running, we would at times find arrows pointing in opposite directions.
I guess this was the There and back part. He also indicated that there would be
a split for wimps or a Turkey trail, and the usual manly- man trail or Eagle
trail. So after Puss Sucker welcomed the NFP (either Dave Bill, or Tom), and
spraying the pack with the remaining Bud, we
were off through the lot and on to pavement for a long down hill glide to an
intersection with a check on the other side. It turned out to be a phony as I
checked to the right and found fuck all as true trail continued up the hill now,
past some very moderately priced summer homes until hitting another check.
Those in the know, knew we were at Bridal Trails now and just jumped into
the woods and looked for flour. Me and Crooked
Dick and his co-hart whose name I not know, actually checked and found flour
marking into the woods and naturally, Bridal Trails.
We ran and
checked a while until coming to the Eagle/Turkey split. The hare had mentioned
at the chalk talk, as perhaps an incentive or maybe an alibi, that the Eagle
trail had NOT been relayed since the downpour of the night before. For some lame
reason, the Turkey trail HAD BEEN recently re-floured. Probably a Family Jewel’s nature problem. Anywho, myself, Where’s, Dim Sum, Inserted Backwards, Crooked Dick, Twat Not, to
name a few, took off down the Eagle trail. There’s not much sense describing
the rest of the run until the beer check but I’ll diagram it below. Suffice it
to say that this run should have been named” The Horse Piss and Shit Shiggy
Run. I would never admit to wearing new shoes but they were in fairly good and
“clean” condition and I had figured that we would be mostly on roads, so I
failed to bring my true hashing shoes. BIG BIG BIG MISTAKE!!!!
There was some beauty in all of this since we were confined to the horse
trail and it was filled at times with horse aftermaths, and there was just no
fucking way to get around most of the shit- pissing shiggy. For those of you who
missed it, here’s a brief course outline.
You get the
picture? Well, we finally escaped from horseshit hell and crossed the road where
there was apparently an arrow to the right but those FRB’s Inserted Bwards and Dim Sum continued
running straight and I like an ass followed. After about half a mile of no
marks, the FRB’s turned around and all of us went back and found the arrow.
Trail followed the road until cutting left down a beautifully hidden footpath to
another trail and finally the BEER. On IN consisted of hitting the out trail on
pavement and back tracking on up and back to the hares parking lot.
In true hash tradition which has been reinvigorated by the new JGM’s, a
circle was held BEFORE eating. AS I said earlier, I need to take notes to write
this dribble. I do recall that DD’s were given to:
Bunny
FOO FOO for impersonating Mr. Clean by having his head clean shaven
Inserted
Backwards for same offense
Crooked
Dick for setting the style
Dim
Sum for about 10 violations. How did HE drive home?
Where’s
for missing the Beer check even though he has run Bridal T 500 times
Groper
for fucking up(again) the punch line to a joke about Prince Charles
Puss
Sucker for losing his PSHHH hat back in Feb and having it back
BILL
or TOM
for being the sponsor of the NFP who fucked up his DD
Dim
Sum for being the sponsor of
the sponsor who fucked up his sponsor’s DD
And many
others too numerous to be recalled at this late date.
Midget
Molester led us in
Swing Low, and we all wore our shoes into the hares house for a fine meal of
beans, salad, bread, and a hot grill and cold micro piss.
NOTE
TO HOUNDS: Next run is NOT the 4th. IT will be the 11th
of July since Puss Sucker, the hare can secure the cove for the 11th
of July.
ONONONONONON