PUGET SOUND HASH

Dec. 21, 2002 Hares: Where’s & Gallopin Run #586 THE CHRISTMAS RUN

Saturday morning at 9:45, the previously stated start time so eloquently formatted in the four color flyer announcing this Puget sound hash tradition. As usual, just like relatives who want to spend the holidays with you even though you have not seen or spoken to them in a year, not even mentioning that you prefer to keep it that way, so does this traditional run bring out the likes of such backsliders as Cripple and Ass-Hole and Dandy Dick. Muddy Balls, like Ass Hole, was only present since skiing at Crystal was sucking big time. We also had the usual suspects like Fucking Crazy aka Santa fill in for Budman who was rumored to be once again squandering the kids inheritance south of the border. This time with winnabago, windsurfer, and Mrs Budman in tow. Groper was present, passing around some sort of fermented blue ribbon winning fluids. Chilly Willy graced us once again with his presence.

It’s 10:15 now with still no hares but Dandy has filled the void? By giving Admiral Haft Ast some nautical test designed for submariners who surface under Japanese tourist boats. I , as others kept waiting for some punch line, something funny. What was NOT particularly funny was how fucking little the Admiral knew. Could be an imposter. Unfortunately Thumper had not arrived yet to verify the answers or the questions.

It’s 10:20 now and at least One hare has shown his face. Galloping
ambels in to the lot at Sliders our start point. How rare when an establishment acrually WANTS to have the hash back. Thumper, and I had found this place last year and laid a Christmas Run of the year as well a Budman SantaClause Classic. So history repeats itself sans Budman.

The advantage of it now being 10:30am is that you get to see the REALLY late cumers, like our JGM DJO and Fukawee, and of course Dimsum. They were all very surprised to see all of us wanking about a good 30 min past the already slid start time. Would not see this on a MM run, I’ll tell you THAT!

So Puss Sucker delivers the blessings and we are off. Thumper and I head south to a check and continue south to another check where we head towards the dinner train. Pretty boring and uneventful considering what the hares did last year. Trail crossed Grady Way and looked like a beer check at FC’s, but some FRB found a BC or check, did not hurt us wanks in the rear as trail was now parallel to Grady and they yanked us thru one fucking parking lot to another. Crossed Grady again at Rainieer. Drivers seemed to be enjoying us at least. Thumper and I are SURE, that being Christmas, and having all of us, or most of us, in santa hats or Elf shorts, what is better than running thru or by or even NEAR? Walmart!! NOPE, too creative for these hares. We found no trail. Rest of pack had checked and were Back across Grady. Oh HOW CREATIVE? I just LOVE Renton runs! So trail goes by the FAA building and then I assume my old Boeing Terra firma long Acres but I soon notice no one is following. I do a round a bout and over/under Grady and catch up to Dandy and Rottnkok. Rottnkok seemed to be reminiscing about a famous run long ago where he got suckered punched by a woman birdwatcher who took a disliking to his horn. But that’s another story.

We had a beer and nog check and then followed the tracks back east passing up yet another opportunity to run a pack of guys dressed up in santa clothes blowing whistles through a major shopping area, this time Fred Myers. So a boring trail on in on back to Sliders.

A traditional gift exchange WITH the bowling Ball included, highlighted the piss up. I should have took notes, as my mom used to say as shit was scattered every which way with no idea of which relative had sent what. Someone got the usual FC Playboy video which went up on the monitor immediately. Dim Sum got back his t shirts he tried to give away last summer. Although I think someone stole those. Seems to me he then picked the obviously ignored Bowling Ball. Who cudda figured? I forgot my present at home(CD of Greatest Banjo Music of the Ozarks, used light bulb set, and a pint of Paddingston’s. Sorry guys, next year.

I do believe food actually arrived around 1:20 or so. Hey, what can I say, I got a new watch. Big gobs of hash browns, eggs, and a t-bone. I notice these things. I also noticed Puss Sucker wait another 20 min to get his garden burger. Ain’t easy being a veggieboy in Renton.

I forgot to add that AFTER we left as a pack, Short Cummings shows up and runs. WE never saw him he never saw us. He DID however, bring and pass on the coveted bowling Ball. We are still missing the hard hat, scb shirt, big prick, and a sacred vessel.

Fucking Crazy did a fabulous job as Santa. He was well rehearsed reciting some diddy by heart without a mistake. An obscene amount of time and energy went into discussing a recent email message from some shrunken-head anal retarded retired Boeing engineer deep in the jungles of Indonesia. I suggested we trade in all our runs at the next run where they will be “re-valued”. Sort of like taking your pesos to the bank for newer “less” pesos. Just an idea. Lots of dd’s were awarded and you know who you are!