Puget Sound H3 Trash
Report on AGPU 2001
April 6th 2001
Location:
Top Gun
Seafood Restaurant
668 S King St Seattle (206) 623-6606
Homebrewed fluids provided by Northwest Brewwerks
Feast:
Appetizers: Dim Sum ! Pot stickers
BBQ Pork
Soup: Shark’s Fin Soup
Main Dishes: Mongolian Beef, Salt & Pepper Frog Legs,
Mushrooms over Chinese Broccoli, Cantonese Style Fried Chicken, Whole
steamed Telapia Fish, Garlic Mixed vegetables, XO Sauce Seafood Mix, Salt &
Pepper Shrimp, Rice
Dessert: Mango Pudding
Hares: Departing JGM Dim Sum + Skunk Dick
We had a very civilized Gentleman-like gathering for the 20th
Anniversary of the Puget Sound H3, in the backroom of a fine Chinese
establishment…
Talking about Chinese, have you heard the latest report about Japanese fishing
boats very wary to be hit by misguided Chinese pilots in the South China Seas,
lately….
In any case, it was indeed a fine evening with a good mixture of new blood such
as Assma, Stuff My Clam, Headnurse, Just a Little Prick and some of the Puget
Sound old fixtures that we could not do without it such as 3 of our original
founders: Cripple, Groper and Rottencock.
Cripple actually made a fine toast to 20 years of fond hash memories with the
unmatchable Puget Sound H3.
Some of the event’s highlights:
- Budman unstoppable with actually very good old & new jokes
- Midget Molester, dropping his jaw at the site of the badly damaged 300th
run majestic silver mug, having gone through Budman’s craftman grinding
machine…
- Half Ast now known as Full Cunt for having committed an atrocious crime while
at the Interhash 2000 in Tasmania last year.
This, of course, was revealed on film by our official globetrotter Snowballs.
This 30 seconds of pure pleasure was definitely worth logging the TV and VCR all
the way from Dim Sum’s abode to Top Gun’s backroom and back !
Half Ast; official whining feedback:
” As to
hash names, I am adamantly against naming hashers too early in their hash
career. I feel the name should be something the "home" hash (not
strangers out of the d--m blue) has recognized in the individual and something
he has an appreciation for and can be sort of happy about. This being said, and
recognizing my pure surprise at the individual's accusations, I was not and am
not happy.”
Fine, I hear just fine, my favorite Full
Cunt.
Your dedicated ON SEC
Dim Sum
The
United States of America apologizes to the People's Republic of China for
allowing our slow, lumbering reconnaissance
plane to be hit by your poorly trained, hot-dogging fighter pilot, while
flying in international airspace.
We're sorry we have to fly surveillance missions to monitor a country that has
nuclear missiles pointed at us.
We're sorry your pilot didn't follow international standards of fighter
intercept protocol.
We're sorry his aircraft recognition skills were so poor he didn't realize the
EP-3 aircraft was propeller driven and flew his aircraft through its propeller
arc, destroying his aircraft and nearly killing 24 American crewmen.
We're sorry your fighter pilot's survival training and equipment was so
inadequate that he couldn't survive until your poorly trained and equipped navy
could find him (they turned down our offer for search and rescue assistance).
We're sorry you violated international law and arrested the crewmen of an
aircraft that legally diverted into your airfield under emergency conditions
caused by your pilot's actions, after being led there by one of your other
pilots.
We're sorry you violated international law and boarded a state aircraft.
We're sorry the world is now seeing you for the enemy of freedom, truth, and
democracy that you really are.
We're sorry you see yourself as a superpower when in reality you are a third
world nation (the average Chinese worker earns less than $.10 a day).
We're sorry you are loosing so much face over this.
We're sorry that you were able to steal some missile and nuclear secrets from
us.
We're sorry you haven't learned from the Soviet Union's collapse and failed to
embrace democracy and capitalism (compare tiny Taiwan and mainland China; same
people, same culture, but Taiwan's capitalistic economy is a powerhouse and
China's economy is still mired in communism).
We're sorry for the future Chinese military deaths that will occur when we
retaliate for your roughish behavior.
And most of all, we're sorry for the Chinese people who suffer its leaders'
incompetence.
We're sorry that you don't train your fighter pilots better. As a token of our
apology, here's a copy of Microsoft Flight Simulator 2000.
We're sorry that you're front-line fighter planes can't outmaneuver a 35 year
old prop-driven airliner. Perhaps you'd like to consider purchasing some surplus
1950's era Lockheed Starfighters from Taiwan. (We just replaced all theirs with
shiny new F-16's.)
We're sorry that you believe your territorial waters extend all the way to
Australia. For future reference, here's an American 6th grade geography
textbook. (Please take note of the Copyright information printed inside the
cover.)
We're sorry that you can't seem to see your part of this incident. We know that
it may seem easier to blame others than to take responsibility.
Consider this fact while we build several new Aegis destroyers for our friends
in the Republic of China (Taiwan).
We're especially sorry for treating you with such respect for the last 20 years.
We will definitely rethink this policy and probably go back to treating you like
a common, untrustworthy street gang very soon.
We're very sorry for ever granting you Most-Favored-Nation trading status and
supporting your entrance into the World Trade Organization. This will be
rectified at the soonest possible opportunity.
Sincerely,
Citizens of the United States of America
P.S. If a speed boat goes out to
inspect a cruise ship and they collide, who do you think is at fault? NB... Kiss
our ass.